LIVE BY DESIGN | The Power of intentionality in relationships: Nurturing connections during the holidays

The end-of-year festive season has arrived. Many of us find ourselves preparing for gatherings with family and friends—a time often filled with joy, laughter, and warmth. However, it’s also a period when the complexities of our relationships can come to the surface. Comments about how we are as siblings, friends, or family members may arise, mixing happiness with unease.

For some, these gatherings can highlight cracks in our connections or stir up unresolved emotions. It can be complicated, joy and tension combined. We need solid relationship foundations to be better able to weather our challenges.

We named our column “Live By Design” to encourage readers to consider what needs to be considered when planning how they spend their time in order to better secure the desired relationship outcomes.

I feel incredibly lucky to know the true meaning of intentional friendships. This past weekend was particularly special for me as I allowed my first visitors to meet my recently adopted little human, Oluthando. Until now, he had only been exposed to three people, so this was a big step!

After their visit, I received the sweetest letter from my friends that touched my heart. They were so clear about their wish to build a meaningful relationship with me and my son.

Here’s a glimpse:

“Dearest Mapi,

My husband and I loved being with you and Oluthando. We wondered whether we can be intentional and try to meet monthly—maybe for lunch or on early Saturday afternoons? What do you think about this idea?

Love….”

I was overwhelmed with joy, but honestly, I wasn’t surprised by such a thoughtful gesture. It perfectly reflects the kind of people they are. I immediately responded, welcoming their idea, and now we already have the first six monthly dates set for 2025.

I can’t fully express what this means to me. Having friends who make an effort to be present in our lives is a gift that keeps on giving. It’s not just about spending time together; it’s about building connections, creating memories, and fostering a sense of community. Oluthando will undoubtedly appreciate this love and support as he grows older.

Intentionality in friendships fosters deeper connections and nurtures a sense of belonging. It reminds us that we are all part of something bigger than ourselves. In this fast-paced world, taking the time to show up for each other can make all the difference.

So, as we immerse ourselves in the holiday season, I encourage all of you to be intentional with your people. Here are five ways to cultivate intentionality in your relationships, ensuring that the moments we share are meaningful and memorable.

1. Prioritise your presence

In our fast-paced lives, getting caught up in the hustle and bustle is easy. When we gather with loved ones during the holidays, let’s consciously prioritize our presence. This goes beyond merely being in the same room; it’s about being mentally and emotionally engaged. Put down your phones, actively listen to stories, and contribute to conversations. The holidays provide an opportunity to share the richness of our lives with one another. Embrace these moments and invest your attention into your relationships—mindful engagement can transform a simple gathering into a cherished memory.

2. Communicate openly and honestly

The holiday season often serves as a mirror, reflecting our relationships’ joys and challenges. If there are underlying tensions among family members or friends, these gatherings can sometimes bring those issues to light. Take the time to communicate openly and honestly. Share your feelings, express your gratitude, and acknowledge any challenges. This open dialogue can foster understanding and create space for healing. Remember, transparency builds trust, which is foundational in any relationship.

3. Create new traditions

Traditions have a powerful way of uniting us. They give us something to look forward to and create a sense of stability amid life’s changes. Consider establishing new traditions that encourage regular connection with those you care about. This could be a monthly lunch date, movie nights, or even virtual hangouts if distance is an issue. Think of activities that resonate with your group and invite participation. In doing so, you nurture bonds that enrich your lives and create shared experiences everyone can treasure.

4. Express gratitude

Amidst the festivities, don’t forget to express gratitude. Acknowledging the efforts of your loved ones can strengthen your ties and remind everyone of their importance in your life. During family gatherings, take a moment to share what you appreciate about one another. Highlight acts of kindness, support, or sacrifices made in the past year. Expressing gratitude isn’t merely polite; it reinforces positive feelings and encourages a culture of appreciation that can permeate through your relationships.

5. Be proactive

Take the initiative to reach out and nurture your connections. Don’t wait for others to make plans or check in. Whether sending a quick text, setting up a coffee date, or scheduling a video call, being proactive shows that you value the relationship. Life gets busy, but small gestures of connection can go a long way in reminding your loved ones that they matter to you.

By making the effort to stay in touch, you help cultivate a deeply resonant community of support. I wish you and your loved ones a joyous and connected holiday season!