It’s a dilemma that gnaws at the very core of our being: how do we reconcile love for family with the reality of their monstrous actions? How do we navigate the tightrope of loyalty and morality when those we care about have become entrenched in all that is wrong?

During my holidays, my book-loving self came across Giles Harvey’s December 2024 New York Times 25-page expose of a family history that literature lovers worldwide did not want to know. Canadian Alice Munro, Nobel Prize winner, had known that her husband, stepfather to her three daughters, had abused her youngest nine-year-old. Munro pretended not to know. Later events reveal otherwise. She failed to support and protect her child. There was a covenant of silence. Too many held too much fear about the consequences of truth-telling.

I was gob-smacked by what I read.

Closer to home:

“I have always known that my brother is a scamming, lying piece of work who has not only groomed and destroyed dozens of young girls who were his pupils but has also been a horrible husband to his wife. But in the 37 years I have been aware of his dark side, I have always believed and hoped he would change. Now at 59, he is head over heels involved with one of his former pupils, who is now 23 and just as delusional as he is.

My brother’s descent into darkness began in his twenties when he made the outrageous claim that he was a medical doctor, taking on the title of Dr Gumbi—not his real surname, of course. A few years later, it became clear that this was a complete fabrication. Somehow, he found himself teaching at the local high school, where he used his charm and mathematical abilities to convince others of his brilliance. Even today, people think he holds a PhD. He has a gift of gab—an uncanny knack for convincing people to see him as something he is not.

Beneath his facade lies a man who has caused immeasurable harm. He has impregnated at least four of his pupils and engaged in numerous affairs with them. It’s an uncomfortable truth to acknowledge; what he has done can easily be classified as rape. Yet, because he is blood, I still feel compelled to wrap up his disgusting character in a way that seems more palatable, as if softening the blow of his actions will somehow lessen the chaos he leaves in his wake.”

During the recent holidays, a friend shared this burden with me. She spoke of her brother, a man much like mine, who had walked a similarly dark path.

Over the years, my brother has inflicted immeasurable misery on our family, a story steeped in the darkness that involves two murders, a prison sentence, and, at 60, a protection court order stemming from his relentless abuse of my sister, the one who tirelessly cares for our family home. We have endured years of verbal, emotional, and, at times, physical torment, yet despite the havoc he has wreaked, he remains a presence in our lives. How is it that someone capable of such destruction continues to be part of our story?

My friend confided in me about her own struggles with guilt and the toll her “doctor” brother is having on her sense of what is right and wrong and mental health. Despite being on the verge of retirement, the weight of his actions looms large. My friend was clearly troubled, grappling with whether she should confront him. She sought advice, though any words I could offer felt inadequate in the face of such horror. My heart ached for her; the burden she carried mirrored my struggle with my brother.

In sharing her story, I was reminded of the eerie parallels between our two brothers, and this revelation only deepened my sense of helplessness. Every fibre of my being wants to protect her from the anguish that comes with confronting a loved one’s misdeeds. I understand that the pain of knowing can sometimes feel heavier than the burden of ignorance. And yet, isn’t it a moral imperative to hold these men accountable?

As I listened, it struck me that my friend’s sister-in-law had confided in her not merely as an act of admission to witnessing these acts for years but as a desperate plea for understanding. Perhaps, in some twisted way, she hoped to absolve herself of his sins, saying nothing. But my friend has known about this for longer than her sister-in-law.

I told my friend that accountability requires more than mere confession; it demands action and confrontation, often against the very fabric of familial bonds.

For my friend, the decision to confront her brother is fraught with uncertainty. Should she expose him to the world, risking the wrath of an unforgiving society? Or should she seek to understand why he fell into such depths, perhaps even offering a chance for rehabilitation? Each option carries its weight, each threatening to tip the scales of familial love into the abyss of disgust and betrayal.

This internal conflict brought back memories of my brother’s misdeeds, and I realized that the burden we carry often remains unshared, festering in silence. We become complicit in the acts we refuse to confront, allowing harmful behaviours to persist under the guise of familial loyalty. Yet, what kind of love allows abuse, deception, and betrayal to run rampant?

I thought of the girls whose lives her brother had irrevocably changed—their futures altered, their potential stifled. Each one was a victim of a man who should have been their protector and guide, yet chose to exploit them instead. How many more would suffer if his actions remained unaccounted for?

So, I took a deep breath and considered my friend’s dilemma. “It may not be easy,” I finally said, “but confronting him may not only bring you peace but could also prevent future harm. You carry the burden of knowing; don’t let it weigh you down in silence. Speaking up could be the first step towards healing—for you, for him, and for those he has hurt.”

While driving and listening to the radio, I heard the guest make a statement that he believed to be powerfully true for himself: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I found myself thinking about this statement long after the journey was over.

This aphorism, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” is attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States. American writer Mark Twain offered an alternative version, “Comparison is the death of joy.” They are both such pithy, thought-provoking sayings. I asked myself; do I think them to be true?

According to research cited by Psychology Today and published in 2023, more than 10% of our daily thoughts involve making comparisons.

A friend recently passed me her mobile to show me a photo of the sleek new high-end car that will be delivered to her in the New Year. She expressed her joy of anticipation of driving this “sexy” new vehicle—her choice of descriptive word, not mine. I’m pleased for the joy she already feels. Vehicles don’t generally do it for me, although I confess to the pleasure of breathing in the smell of new leather upholstery.

I feel deep satisfaction when driving my trusty SUV steed, which has power steering, a turbo engine, and a great boot capacity. My comparatively boring car completely fills my heart’s desires.

My younger self drove some dubious vehicles – a car in Mozambique, imported second-hand from Swaziland. The paperwork declared it to be a Model 1300. The parts I ordered were never right. We eventually discovered it was a Model 1500 rebuild!

I guess I am making comparisons! I’m indeed happy because I remember that time when I didn’t have enough money to buy a newer, more reliable car. My older self-treasures the economic privilege of being able to buy a new car.

On reflection, I realise that what would be more accurate for me is that envy is the thief of joy. And envy is very personal. I envy tall women. I envy the owners of those expensive light aluminium bicycles! I am envious of families where three generations live in the same city. I miss my girls, who are not living close by. I’m sad to see grandchildren only sporadically.

However, I’d like to propose that comparison can be very constructive. So much depends on ways of looking at things, the proverbial glass half empty versus glass half full. My husband and I took three flights this month to meet up with our Brooklyn family in Mexico: Johannesburg to London, London to Dallas, and finally, Dallas to Cancun.

On each of the three flights, we walked towards the back of the plane, passing through business class and premium economy. Those fat armchair-like seats with their footrests look so comfortable! Onwards to the back, we get to the “world traveller economy.”

Here’s the half-full upside: First, we have enough money to buy international flight tickets when tickets cost an arm and a leg at this time of year. Second, my husband and I are both short, slender people, better able than many to fit into those narrow economy seats with limited legroom. I call it sardine travel! Third, the joy of family reunion makes it all worthwhile. It can matter a lot to have a glass-half-full perspective. Recently, I listened to a read-through of a script for an upcoming play, To Life with Love. South African playwright Mike Vaan Graan recently penned the script, which will first be performed in Cape Town in early February 2025.

The lead character of To Life with Love receives a diagnosis that he has a life-threatening disease. He decides to make a video recording of his end-of-life wishes. The play tracks his moods as he reflects on his life. His initial mood is anger. He rants and raves, unhappy that this disease can be happening to him.

How do we face the news of a life-threatening diagnosis? Such circumstances are the original source of Swiss-American psychologist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s research work. She studied terminally ill patients. Her observations led her to develop her theory on the stages of dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I do not want to do a “spoiler alert,” but for Mike Van Graan’s character, acceptance becomes his anchor for finding continuing joy in whatever time is left for him to live. And at the heart of his acceptance is comparison. The comparison is anchored in gratitude. There is an appreciation for what life has richly offered and an acknowledgement of those who’ve been dealt a worse hand of cards.

“To Life with Love!” That will be my toast as we welcome in 2025.

Whatever comes my way, the way of my family and friends, I hope that we will permanently be anchored by our gratitude for what we have. I hope that comparison will never be the thief of our joy!

The end-of-year festive season has arrived. Many of us find ourselves preparing for gatherings with family and friends—a time often filled with joy, laughter, and warmth. However, it’s also a period when the complexities of our relationships can come to the surface. Comments about how we are as siblings, friends, or family members may arise, mixing happiness with unease.

For some, these gatherings can highlight cracks in our connections or stir up unresolved emotions. It can be complicated, joy and tension combined. We need solid relationship foundations to be better able to weather our challenges.

We named our column “Live By Design” to encourage readers to consider what needs to be considered when planning how they spend their time in order to better secure the desired relationship outcomes.

I feel incredibly lucky to know the true meaning of intentional friendships. This past weekend was particularly special for me as I allowed my first visitors to meet my recently adopted little human, Oluthando. Until now, he had only been exposed to three people, so this was a big step!

After their visit, I received the sweetest letter from my friends that touched my heart. They were so clear about their wish to build a meaningful relationship with me and my son.

Here’s a glimpse:

“Dearest Mapi,

My husband and I loved being with you and Oluthando. We wondered whether we can be intentional and try to meet monthly—maybe for lunch or on early Saturday afternoons? What do you think about this idea?

Love….”

I was overwhelmed with joy, but honestly, I wasn’t surprised by such a thoughtful gesture. It perfectly reflects the kind of people they are. I immediately responded, welcoming their idea, and now we already have the first six monthly dates set for 2025.

I can’t fully express what this means to me. Having friends who make an effort to be present in our lives is a gift that keeps on giving. It’s not just about spending time together; it’s about building connections, creating memories, and fostering a sense of community. Oluthando will undoubtedly appreciate this love and support as he grows older.

Intentionality in friendships fosters deeper connections and nurtures a sense of belonging. It reminds us that we are all part of something bigger than ourselves. In this fast-paced world, taking the time to show up for each other can make all the difference.

So, as we immerse ourselves in the holiday season, I encourage all of you to be intentional with your people. Here are five ways to cultivate intentionality in your relationships, ensuring that the moments we share are meaningful and memorable.

  1. Prioritise your presence

In our fast-paced lives, getting caught up in the hustle and bustle is easy. When we gather with loved ones during the holidays, let’s consciously prioritize our presence. This goes beyond merely being in the same room; it’s about being mentally and emotionally engaged. Put down your phones, actively listen to stories, and contribute to conversations. The holidays provide an opportunity to share the richness of our lives with one another. Embrace these moments and invest your attention into your relationships—mindful engagement can transform a simple gathering into a cherished memory.

  1. Communicate openly and honestly

The holiday season often serves as a mirror, reflecting our relationships’ joys and challenges. If there are underlying tensions among family members or friends, these gatherings can sometimes bring those issues to light. Take the time to communicate openly and honestly. Share your feelings, express your gratitude, and acknowledge any challenges. This open dialogue can foster understanding and create space for healing. Remember, transparency builds trust, which is foundational in any relationship.

  1. Create new traditions

Traditions have a powerful way of uniting us. They give us something to look forward to and create a sense of stability amid life’s changes. Consider establishing new traditions that encourage regular connection with those you care about. This could be a monthly lunch date, movie nights, or even virtual hangouts if distance is an issue. Think of activities that resonate with your group and invite participation. In doing so, you nurture bonds that enrich your lives and create shared experiences everyone can treasure.

  1. Express gratitude

Amidst the festivities, don’t forget to express gratitude. Acknowledging the efforts of your loved ones can strengthen your ties and remind everyone of their importance in your life. During family gatherings, take a moment to share what you appreciate about one another. Highlight acts of kindness, support, or sacrifices made in the past year. Expressing gratitude isn’t merely polite; it reinforces positive feelings and encourages a culture of appreciation that can permeate through your relationships.

  1. Be proactive

Take the initiative to reach out and nurture your connections. Don’t wait for others to make plans or check in. Whether sending a quick text, setting up a coffee date, or scheduling a video call, being proactive shows that you value the relationship. Life gets busy, but small gestures of connection can go a long way in reminding your loved ones that they matter to you.

By making the effort to stay in touch, you help cultivate a deeply resonant community of support. I wish you and your loved ones a joyous and connected holiday season!

The drive to the Tai Chi class earlier this week was a breeze. I sang “Schools out for summer!” joyously. What will the summer holidays hold for me this year-end? Driving home I listened to Clement Manyathela, last month’s Radio 702 award winner of the “Best Daytime Show.”

Clement’s topic was about the gym and the traffic near the gym having been so much busier in recent weeks as people focused on getting into their preferred shape before leaving for holidays. Clement announced himself as one such preoccupied person. He told us he has been running EVERY day. He has been using the machines at the gym EVERY day. He mentioned his weight goal of seventy kilos. And he wants a six-pack! That goal is eluding him.

He asked listeners to call in with advice. What could he do to get a six-pack within the next two weeks? He also asked what strategies people had followed to have a good time but not put on too much weight. One caller made me laugh with her trade off: “While I eat slap chips, I drink diet coke!”

I understand this preoccupation with feeling good about the shape I am in while knowing that food and drink indulgence is part of my having a good time. It’s a common preoccupation!

But what if you are told not to eat and drink the things you enjoy so much? This time last year I was prescribed methotrexate for my arthritis. The script included folic acid to counteract the toxic side effects. Indeed, there was to be a bi-monthly blood test to check on what impact the medication would have on my liver etc. and add this to series of cortisone injections and a three times a-day dose of ETIFLAM, an anti-inflammatory for pain relief.

The specialist instructed me to reduce alcohol to a minimum because the medication would be affecting my liver and alcohol will make this worse.

Like a good compliant patient I went to the pharmacy, collected everything, and waited for the medical aid authorisation for the cortisone injections. Once home, I did two things. Firstly, I read the small print of the medication leaflets. I also phoned family and friends who have been treated with methotrexate, a chemotherapy drug discovered to have a positive impact on the advance of rheumatoid arthritis.

One friend has benefitted enormously from the methotrexate treatment. My niece, however, who shares some of the same DNA as I, became seriously ill with the side effects.

I was about to leave Johannesburg for Nature’s Valley in the Eastern Cape. It is a village of 300 houses, nestled between the mountains and the ocean. Where the river meets the sea there is a lagoon which is ideal for safe swimming. The peaty water from the mountains mixes with the tidal inflow of salty seawater. It feels silky on the skin.

Several boxes of wine stood ready to be loaded into our SUV alongside the groceries and suitcases. I looked at them and wondered how my holiday might turn out if I had a negative reaction to the medication. I had been so looking forward to this holiday: sand, sea, cooking delicious food, enjoying sundowner cocktails and wine. This anticipated enjoyment was now at risk.

I opened my laptop. I penned an e-mail to the specialist and my doctor. I thanked them for my diagnosis which made sense of the symptoms I had experienced. I wrote that I was about to leave on a family holiday in a small seaside village which had no GP practice. I was worried about dealing with side-effects while away from home and without the reassurance of trusted GP support nearby. I informed my GP and the specialist that after much deliberation my decision was to delay taking the medication until my return to Johannesburg in the new year.

I had such a good time, possibly more than usual because a life of restraint loomed ahead in the new year. I ate. I drank. I cooked up a storm. Every day I swam in the lagoon. I met friends, read books, and slept long hours luxuriously. When I returned home in January 2024, after my indulgent holiday, I was both fit and also the heaviest weight that I have ever been.

Eleven months later and several kilos lighter I am packing for this year’s holiday. Less sugar made the single biggest difference to my health, my pain levels, and my weight. My summer body is in good enough shape. You’ll note my choice of language, “good enough”.

I am being kind to myself. I have had a year of paying attention to my health. By the way, I never did start the methotrexate. My choice was to try acupuncture and Chinese herbal medication and that combination has worked well for me.

Your summer body? What’s your holiday strategy? Personally, I will not eat slap chips together with diet coke. I’m the “in for a penny – in for a pound” kind of person. I’ll be eating double-fried potato wedges dunked in mayonnaise.

I accept I will return to Johannesburg heavier, and that’s okay. Sociable eating and drinking with family and friends are such a pleasure. The holiday goal is to return having had a really good time. Then my restraint strategy can come into play to slowly nudge away at the weight gain.

“It’s summertime, and the livin’ is easy.”

Holiday by design!

Mapi and I hope that you will have a really good time!

Enjoy.

A disturbing television news report about an Eastern Cape mother who’s been missing since 2021 left me cold.

A Newzroom Afrika reporter detailed the difficulties the Bili family in Libode, Eastern Cape, had been experiencing following the mysterious disappearance of their mother, Nolizwi Bili. She was last seen on 6 December 2021, at a local primary school where she taught Grade R.

On Thursday, teachers visited the family as the search for Bili continues. She was the sole breadwinner of her household. This story left me with many questions as the family expressed their hopes that she would one day return to them.

What have the past three years been like for the family? How do they grieve this loss? Will she ever be declared dead? What steps can we take to safeguard our households in the event of going missing without a trace? Can we even prepare for such an eventuality?

The story made news this week because local community members and the teachers’ union, SADTU, visited the family to provide food and clothing donations. They are actively collaborating with authorities to ensure the search continues.

However, an important aspect not covered in the report is whether there has been a move to declare Nolizwi Bili legally dead. This declaration could help the family access financial support during this difficult time.

In South Africa, declaring a missing person dead requires applying to the High Court for a “Presumption of Death Order.” This order presumes the individual deceased based on substantial evidence suggesting their death despite the absence of a body.

From my limited reading on the subject, there’s no mandatory time frame for applying, but the court considers the circumstances of the disappearance. Once granted, this order serves similarly to a death certificate, allowing for the settlement of estates and other legal matters related to the missing person. When someone goes missing, especially a breadwinner, the effects ripple through the family like a stone thrown into a still pond.

The immediate aftermath often involves shock and disbelief. Family members grapple with the uncertainty, swinging between hope and despair. In the case of the Bili family, the absence of Nolizwi creates a void that is both emotional and material. The pain of not knowing is compounded by the reality of daily survival without her presence and support. For families like the Bilis, the initial response may be a desperate search—contacting authorities, community members, and friends to gather any information that could lead to their loved one’s return.

This phase is marked by an overwhelming sense of helplessness and perseverance as loved ones cling to the hope that they will receive news, no matter how long it takes. While these efforts are crucial, they often leave families emotionally drained and isolated as time stretches on without resolution.

The financial implications of a missing breadwinner cannot be overstated. In many families, especially in regions where job opportunities are limited, losing the primary provider can lead to immediate financial hardship. Bills accumulate, and basic needs such as food, housing, and education for children become challenging to meet. The Bili family, reliant on Nolizwi’s income, faces the daunting prospect of navigating this new reality without her financial support.

Social services and community organisations have stepped in to provide assistance, but these resources are insufficient in the long term. The Bili family is now reliant on extended relatives or friends out of necessity, leading to feelings of shame and vulnerability.

As the absence of Nolizwi lingers, her family must now grapple with the possibility of declaring them legally dead.

This process is fraught with emotional challenges, as it represents a final acknowledgement that the person may not return. Different cultures have varying beliefs about death and mourning, which further complicates this decision. For many families, the hope of a reunion prevents them from taking this step, leaving them stuck in a limbo that hinders their ability to move forward.

In this context, the question arises: How can we prepare for the unthinkable?

While it is difficult to imagine a life without a cherished family member, taking proactive measures can help mitigate the impact of such a devastating event. Creating a comprehensive family safety plan can offer some peace of mind. Families should consider open communication about what to do if someone goes missing, including establishing a contact list, identifying trustworthy neighbours, and outlining steps to follow when reporting a disappearance.

Financial planning, such as establishing emergency funds and purchasing insurance, can also help cushion the blow should an unforeseen tragedy occur. Ultimately, the emotional burden of waiting for news about a missing loved one leaves scars that may never fully heal. The Bili family’s experience is a disturbing reminder of the fragility of life.

A friend, Dineo, (not her real name) told me recently she was recovering from a stroke. A few days ago, my nephew postponed our dinner arrangement because his friend had had a stroke and the prognosis was not good. Indeed, the outcome was a funeral. Last Sunday, 24 November, controversial American preacher, TD Jakes had a medical emergency while delivering his livestream sermon. A mini stroke is suspected. This week, on one of my community chats there was a post about one of its members having been rushed to hospital. Again, it was a stroke.

Would I know a stroke if I saw one? Would I know what to do? I fear not. Those classes called life skills could do with some updates. When things happen in clusters in my life. I take that as the universe telling me that I need to pay attention. I decided to learn the “need to know” essentials.

Dineo told me her story. She had been a car passenger when her partner, the driver, heard that the words coming out of her mouth sounded like gobbledygook. Within minutes, normalcy restored itself and Dineo felt absolutely fine again. My friends continued with the plan for their day, except for one phone call, Dineo made an appointment with her doctor.

Roll forward to the next day. The GP listened to the story and in Dineo’s words: “I was given hell.” Dineo and the GP have interacted over several years. The GP’s frankness in her reprimand was, in part, due to the fact that she was aware of Dineo having once worked as a medical professional, albeit decades ago.

Why was the doctor furious?

Dineo had had a stroke. A stroke is a medical emergency. Call emergency services 112 in RSA or more famously 911 in the USA. A stroke means there has been a blockage in the blood supply to the brain. The severity of the impact of a stroke depends on how quickly or not you get medical attention. The earliest possible treatment with medication like tPA (a clot buster) can minimise brain damage. The best chance for this treatment to be effective is to get the injection within three to four hours.

That was why Dineo’s doctor was furious. Her partner needed to have driven her straight to the nearest emergency care centre. That they continued with their plan for their day was a mistake – luckily one they did not pay for dearly. Dineo was fortunate to recover well and start a programme of preventative treatment to lower the risk of recurrence.

It struck me that I am among those who do not know enough. I also would not have recognised the stroke symptoms. I also would have been fooled by the quick recovery into thinking that whatever had happened was nothing too serious.

Dr Robert Brown, neurologist at the USA’s renowned Mayo clinic, advised that if you observe any stroke symptoms,
“DO NOT WAIT TO SEE IF THE SYMPTOMS STOP. Every minute counts. SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION.”

I am considering cutting out and placing the graphic below in my car – to remind me of the five most common symptoms:

  1. Trouble speaking or understanding what others are saying;
  2. Numbness, weakness or paralysis in the face, arm, or leg;
  3. Problems seeing in one or both eyes;
  4. Balance – trouble walking;
  5. Headache – a sudden severe one.

Dr Brown recommends memorising the mnemonic F.A.S.T.

  • F=FACE Ask the person to smile, observe if one side droops
  • A=ARMS Ask the person to raise both arms – observe if one arm lags.
  • S=SPEECH Ask the person to repeat a short phrase. Notice if slurred or different.
  • T=TIME If you’ve observed any of these signs, get emergency medical help FAST.

There are different kinds of strokes, but all require speed as the imperative to get emergency care. The ischemic stroke, the most common, is the result of a blocked artery in the brain. When the blockage is a short temporary disruption, it is known as a Transient Ischemic Attack, a TIA. for short. A haemorrhagic stroke, the more serious one, is caused by the leaking or bursting of a blood vessel in the brain.

You cannot know the consequences ahead of time. Each stroke will be specific to the person. The impact the stroke has will depend on how long the blood supply to the brain is interrupted and exactly which part of the brain is affected.

In 2019, News24 covered the story of George Scola who after having a stroke, aged 37, created a foundation www.strokesurvivors.org.za.

Apparently, it is the fifty-five plus age group that are most susceptible. The prevention strategies all sing the hymn sheets of a healthy lifestyle. Watch out for high blood pressure. Reduce that saturated fat in your diet and watch that your cholesterol levels stay low. Do not smoke. Be alert to diabetes; diet and exercise can help keep you blood sugar in a healthy range. Maintain a good weight for your height.

I am astonished at my level of ignorance. For the last decade of my mum’s life, I was her principal caregiver up to when she died, at home, just short of ninety. She had hypertension and diabetes. She was an ex-smoker. In my ignorance, I never had conversations with domestic workers and carers about what they might need to keep a look out for. I now feel, in retrospect, that my lack of information was irresponsible.

Holiday times approach. Many of us travel to family reunions. We may be off the beaten track, away from access to our normal medical network. It behoves us to be observant and have clarity, wherever we are, about our best access to emergency care. I do not want to dampen holiday spirits. I just want us all to be ready for when “life happens.”

 

My best memories of my maternal grandparents are the Christmas holidays I spent with them. I remember one particular day vividly; we were sitting in the kitchen with my grandmother, watching one of my cousins washing dishes after supper. On that day, just like many other days, I was recounting tales from KwaMashu with much drama and a tinge of exaggeration. You see, I had never been particularly interested in house chores; I didn’t mind observing others as they went about their cleaning. Instead, I would follow them around and entertain them with my stories.

On this particular night, I was in my element, blissfully unaware that my grandmother was in no mood to indulge my antics. My 73-year-old grandmother quietly asked me to pass her a drying cloth. Confidently, I handed it over. She immediately came down on me about my audacity to think I could avoid helping. She looked me in the eyes and asked, “Who do you expect to wipe the dishes?” With a reluctant sigh, I gave in, took a cloth, and started helping.

Lesson learnt. There were many subtle and unsubtle attempts by her to domesticate me during those times. I must say she succeeded only in making me interested in cooking while failing miserably in teaching me my way around flour for baking.

I asked a group of journalist colleagues about their best grandparent memories. Nearly all of them cited Christmas holidays, cooking lessons, and the invaluable wisdom passed down through generations.

Only a handful mentioned physical activities, which was surprising given the profound impact those moments can have. As they shared their cherished stories, the smiles that beamed on their faces reminded me of the unmatched role and joy that grandparents can bring to their grandchildren.

It is clear that while the lessons learned in the kitchen or around the holiday table are significant, the love, laughter, and shared experiences – whether active or contemplative – create lasting bonds that shape us into who we are today. These relationships not only enrich our lives but also instil in us the values and traditions that we carry forward, making time spent with grandparents truly special.

As I reflect on my cherished moments, I realise that I don’t have any memories of doing physical activities with my grandparents. By the time I came along, their mobility was limited by age. They were wonderful storytellers and provided an abundance of love, yet their physical capabilities constrained our interactions. Fast forward to now.

At 49 years old, I am a grandmother to four grandchildren, courtesy of my siblings. After struggling with my own health for years, I made life-changing decisions eight years ago. I weighed 150kg and my mobility was severely impacted. Thanks to gastric bypass surgery I now enjoy a healthier weight of 73 kg and can play freely with my grandchildren in physical activities that bring us closer together.

My child will turn three years old this December. What kind of grandmother will I be for his children? I’m likely to be in my seventies when that happens. Will I have the opportunity to be present in their lives? Given the chance, what impact will I have on their upbringing? I know I’m looking decades ahead, but it is the choices we make in our lives today that pave the way for the kind of grandparents we can aspire to be. And this requires preparation.

It is not enough to simply hope to be a good grandparent; we must actively seek to cultivate the qualities that we want to embody. Just as my grandmother instilled values and lessons in me – whether through gentle nudges towards responsibility or through her unwavering support – I want to impart similar values to my grandchildren. Prioritising our health is also crucial. Our physical well-being directly influences our ability to interact and engage with our grandchildren. Whether it involves regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, or managing chronic conditions, these choices significantly shape our capacity to partake in their lives fully. Especially as modern grandparents, we have an opportunity – indeed, a responsibility – to ensure that we are fit and capable. This means setting a precedent for our grandchildren, demonstrating the importance of self-care and healthy living from an early age.

Emotional availability is just as important as physical presence. In a world filled with distractions, it is easy to become preoccupied with technology or our own agendas. To be the grandparent that my grandchildren deserve, I must learn to put aside my devices and engage in meaningful conversations with them. This includes listening to their stories, understanding their dreams, and supporting their endeavours. Emotional availability fosters a bond that goes beyond the surface level and creates a foundation of trust on which they can rely. Additionally, taking the time to educate ourselves about the world in which our grandchildren are growing up can be immensely beneficial. The landscape of family dynamics, technology, and societal norms is ever evolving. Embracing this change and learning alongside them allows us to connect on a deeper level. It enables meaningful discussions about their interests, aspirations, and challenges, ensuring they feel understood and valued.

The role of grandparents can be invaluable. Grandparents frequently serve as anchors in their grandchildren’s lives. They provide wisdom, stability and, most importantly, unconditional love. Being a grandparent can mean so much more than only telling family stories or babysitting.

What kind of a grandparent do you plan to be? What choices are you making now, physically, emotionally, and educationally, so as to be able to participate actively in creating traditions and memories?

Mid-year 1991 Joe Slovo, husband to me, liberation struggle hero to others, phoned me. I was a couple of hours drive away from our Johannesburg home. I was having solo writing time, finishing the last chapter of my PhD. “Please come home earlier,” he asked. He had something urgent to discuss with me.

That evening we sat together and he told me his bad news. He’d gone to the doctor because his ribs were sore. He’d thought he’d injured himself when, accidentally locked in his office, he’d climbed out through a window. No such luck; the x-rays and blood tests that the meticulous GP ordered revealed cancer. Joe told me, “I have multiple myeloma. The life expectancy is two years.”

Many of us have experienced the awfulness of hearing bad news. My stomach churned. I felt nauseous. Stunned. Immobilised. What we thought was our everyday life was no more.

Joe’s immediate responses were: (a) ‘I don’t want anyone to know about this’, and (b) ‘I want to focus on completing my life’s work’. He’d been in his thirties when he was an accused in the Treason Trial. Now, in his mid-sixties, a peaceful transition to democracy was imminent.

Joe curtailed any activity that he regarded as a distraction. He had agreed to interviews with author Charlotte Bauer who had begun to write his biography. He cancelled. Time spent on retrospection was undesirable. He lived for three and a half more years. Those eighteen months beyond the two-year prognosis felt like a bonus.

Roll forward twenty years. I changed my profession. I transitioned from being an agricultural economist-banker. As MD of the Land Bank I was challenged by how people engaged with transformational change. I completed an MA in coaching.

My clients most often want me to work with them to get better at dealing with workplace situations, their work-life balance, racial complexity, or a behavioural issue.

One day, a few years ago, a woman arrived with a different objective. I offer a rapport session to feel sure that I can work with the person and their needs. And vice versa, they too must ascertain that they make the right choice.

She explained her purpose. “I have breast cancer. I was in remission. It’s back again. I understand enough to know that the chemo may not be successful a second time round. I don’t know if I have six months, a year or maybe two. I want to work out how I will best live during this time ahead. Someone suggested you might be the right coach to work with.” She lived three more years. What we did in our few sessions together served her well.

We respond differently to bad news.

I asked a friend whose life partner died a few months after his diagnosis of a brain tumour, “How did you and Clement face loss?” “We never did,” he replied, “he was in denial until the day he died.” Conversely, a client who requested grief counselling shared, “I was the one who refused to accept my husband’s impending death. I refused his efforts to have discussions with me. Only when he died did I discover how thoughtful and forward-thinking he had been. He arranged his affairs legally and financially to make my continuing life with our children as easy as possible.”

My earlier experience of accompanying my husband to his death was imperfect. Afterwards I realised just how many conversations we had not had. I lived with the consequences. Secrets revealed. Financial affairs not attended to. My younger self knew no better. It is this imperfect experience that has drawn me to this work.

I have in mind a book about the choices we make in the face of impending loss. It is about agency, our taking the reins to shape how we choose to live when death becomes imminent, be it our own death or that of loved ones.

UK psychotherapist Glenys Parry wrote to me, “The books on loss I’m aware of are about coping with loss after it happens. Working to help someone who has had bad news and impending loss is very different. I have a client at the moment whose husband has a terminal diagnosis but an indeterminate prognosis. They have a young child, and she is the main earner. I would definitely buy the book.”

Working with your own impending death is the only relationship in which you are in charge. You have agency for as long as your energy holds. It is a completely different experience to accompanying the death of a loved one: your life partner, your parent, your child.

The self-help book envisaged would take you through the coaching tools used, first with Linda (not her real name) and subsequently, with others. The NPO LoveLegacyDignity that Mapi and I co-founded runs an online course, Live By Design – Finish Strong that includes many of these. They provide a framework to consider your life holistically, encouraging you to make decisions as to how you wish to live your remaining days, as well as to secure your dignity and legacy.

We have a request for readers. Consider that you are the person receiving bad news of a terminal diagnosis, your own or that of your significant other, your parent or your child. What would make you buy a self-help book? What would you want to be included? What would help you the most?

There is a question that we often pose to attendees of our “Live by Design” workshops. It’s a simple yet profound inquiry: “What quality do you already have that, if amplified, would further improve your life?” The responses are diverse, but without fail, several reveal a common thread – patience, compassion, curiosity, and an eagerness to learn and do more.

In my discussions with Helena Dolny, we’ve observed that the season we find ourselves in can influence the qualities we choose to cultivate. As the year nears its end, particularly around November, many of us lean towards curiosity, driven by the natural desire to learn and grow in various realms, including technology and personal development. This seasonal shift highlights how our focus can ebb and flow, but the core virtues of patience, compassion and curiosity remain timeless and essential for living a fulfilled life.

The Power of Patience
My English name is Patience, so I know a thing or two about patience. Last month, I shared my long journey toward adopting my son, which finally came together after more than two years of waiting. This experience has taught me that, even with all that time invested, I can still use more patience – patience with myself, patience with loved ones, and sometimes patience with colleagues.

However, I also recognise that patience can have its downsides. It can quickly become a weakness if we confuse it with procrastination. Many people remain in toxic relationships or endure unfulfilling situations under the guise of being patient with their partners, colleagues or relatives. Yet, despite this potential pitfall, patience remains one of our most valuable qualities. It fosters resilience, encourages understanding, and allows us to navigate life’s challenges gracefully.

Cultivating patience can lead to deeper connections and a more fulfilling life because it helps us appreciate the journey, even when it feels arduous. Practically, learning to be patient can transform how we interact with ourselves and others.

For example, when navigating personal challenges or setbacks, patience allows for self-compassion, helping us to treat ourselves with the kindness we often reserve for friends. By recognising that growth takes time, we can lessen the pressure on ourselves to be perfect or achieve results instantly.

The Role of Compassion
Compassion is closely intertwined with patience, acting as a bridge to deeper human connection. In our workshops, we emphasise that compassion isn’t just about feeling sympathy for someone’s struggles; it’s about taking action to alleviate their pain. This can take many forms, from offering a listening ear to volunteering our time or resources.

Living by design means we actively choose to cultivate compassion in our daily lives. This might mean setting aside our own agendas to help a colleague through a challenging moment or practising kindness towards strangers in our communities. Compassion has a ripple effect; when we extend kindness, it encourages others to act similarly, creating a virtuous cycle of support and positivity.

The Quest for Curiosity
Curiosity serves as the driving force behind growth and exploration. It propels us to ask questions, seek new experiences, and embrace the unknown. Curiosity can be a transformative quality, leading us to discover the world around us and the depths of our capabilities and passions.

As the year winds down and we reflect on the lessons learned, curiosity drives us to set new intentions for the future. It invites us to explore new areas of interest – be it a new technology, a creative hobby, or a different cultural perspective. This spirit of inquiry invigorates our lives, preventing stagnation and fostering lifelong learning.

Living a Life of Intention
Living a life of intention, which incorporates patience, compassion and curiosity into our lives, is not a one-time endeavour, but a continuous practice. It requires intention and mindfulness. As we traverse the path of personal growth, these qualities become the compass guiding us toward a richer, more meaningful existence.

To live by design, we must regularly assess the qualities we wish to cultivate. Are we being patient with ourselves and others? Are we extending compassion beyond our immediate circles? Are we embracing our innate curiosity and allowing it to lead us to new horizons?

As we approach the end of the year, let us consider how these virtues can serve us – not just in our personal lives, but also within our broader communities.
So, what quality do you already have that, if amplified, would improve your life? And what action can you take to secure more of this quality for yourself?

Around 02:00 on 28 September in the village of Nyathi, Ngobozana, in Lusikisiki, Eastern Cape, relatives assembled in two houses. The family members present, mainly women, settled late into their bedrooms after a long evening of preparing food and drink. In the morning, they would travel to another village, taking everything with them, to participate in a cleansing ceremony to mark the anniversary of deceased family members, a mother and daughter, who had been murdered a year earlier.

That ceremony did not take place.

That night, 18 more people were murdered and five injured when three assailants used automatic rifles and pistols to undertake a killing spree. Fifteen of the 18 victims were women. There was no return fire; the families were not armed. The attack was out of the blue – unexpected. The intention was to kill, not maim; the fatal wounds were mostly head wounds. Why? The reason has been difficult to ascertain. News reporters have found it challenging to get a straightforward story. Is this a family feud? Were these revenge killings?

Police detained the first suspect on 3 October, and three more were taken in for questioning on 6 October. Remaining relatives of the Sinqina clan declined a government offer of a mass funeral but accepted a memorial service on Sunday, 6 October. The family spokesperson, Monwabisi Sinqina, explained that families must hold private funerals in different burial sites and adhere to traditional rituals.

More than 30 relatives arrived to attend the October memorial service. Those few who emerged are still living after the shooting spree. David King, the uncle of the deceased Ruth King, who was to turn 21 later this year, spoke with the media. His sister-in-law, mother to Ruth, was gunned down in the adjoining bedroom. She could hear her daughter screaming for her: “Mummy, Mummy”.

He told Newzroom Afrika reporters: “We are not okay. The mother is even worse. I’m sleeping over at my brother’s place. I hear her crying. I hear her praying. It’s like she’s talking to God. She’s got questions”.

He confirmed that social workers had come to conduct counselling sessions. By the end of this weekend, two weeks after the shooting, the funerals will have taken place. Eleven in one burial site, four in another, and one in yet another.

Their bodies were collected from the mortuary. The customary practice of the deceased spending their last night at home before being taken to the burial site was not followed. It is believed that when a person has died in such a violent manner, to have their remains in the house overnight before the ceremony will bring more misfortune in the future. Fear and trauma prevail.

The burials will be the final farewell, but what happens next? The survivors are likely to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD), anxiety and depression. If they do not receive support, they may suffer for years to come.

I write this as the daughter of a mother who was 11 years old when the Second World War broke out and 21 when she finally left a refugee camp. She jumped at certain noises. When I was a teenager, someone gave me a small typewriter. As I sat in my bedroom typing our French verb declensions that I wanted to memorise, my mother burst through my bedroom door, grabbed the typewriter, and threw it against the wall with all the force she could muster. She wanted to break it. Tears streamed down her face. She was screaming. Later, she explained that the rat-tat-tat-tat sound of the typewriter reminded her of wartime, of hearing machine gun fire, and it was a trigger that drove her crazy. Doctors, in those days, did not deeply understand PSTD. Hers was not diagnosed and treated.

In the Lusikisiki community, people’s grief is witnessed, an essential component of healing. Substantial material contributions by the Premier’s office and funeral companies have eased the financial burden.

What will be more difficult in the longer term is psycho-social support. Talk therapy could support survivors. Health professionals have documented the positive experience of patient support groups in war-torn African countries. But not everyone finds it easy to talk. Art therapy could be an alternative.

In 1985, I saw children in a primary school in Mozambique painting the day after the army ammunition exploded in Malhazine, 10 kilometres from Maputo’s city centre. The children had seen flaming tracer bullets against the night sky, and flames shot up hundreds of feet. Fifty people died, and hundreds were injured. Children chose black as their primary paint colour.

Years later, when my husband was dying of cancer, my doctor felt I was not giving voice to my feelings, and she sent me to an art therapist. That worked. It loosened my tongue, and I found my words.

Research shows that stress, tension, and trauma are embodied physically, not only psychologically. Some techniques used by trained practitioners involve tapping on specific points of your body while focusing on the emotion or issue that you want to release. It goes by different names but is often called the Emotional Freedom Technique. If you are wary of your body being tapped, you might be pleased to know that you remain fully dressed in the process, and the focus is on your face and hands. There is yet another technique, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Reiki therapy is similarly a hands-off therapy wherein hands are placed in proximity to your head or body, connecting to energy flows and using their hands to realign that energy for balance and healing. I guess I was sceptical until I received a Reiki voucher as a gift after my husband died. I lay on my tummy, and my body responded to the hands passing above my back – which never touched me. Tears flowed freely. The emotional release felt powerful.

Lusikisiki, a populated rural area in the Eastern Cape, may not have the cultural disposition towards these therapies nor the access you would find in our cities.

It will be incumbent on the provincial health department to think carefully about how to support Lusikisiki in the coming months.

If psychological healing does not take place, the damage suffered by the community will continue into the next generation. There is a societal responsibility to assist. Dr Lucy Hone, grief specialist, writes: “Do not lose what you have to what you have lost.”