LIVE BY DESIGN | Navigating obesity with compassion: A personal journey and family reflection

Obesity’s impact extends beyond the individual, affecting families and communities alike. This week’s Live By Design column delves into the challenges of discussing weight with kindness and understanding, highlighting the need for supportive dialogue and lifestyle changes. Through personal stories and reflections, it underscores the importance of empathy and open communication in addressing this complex issue.

The question for this week is: How do you approach the topic of obesity with kindness and understanding? Making a change will require decisions about lifestyle changes.

As long as I can remember, my life has been intertwined with the realities of obesity. Growing up surrounded by people of various sizes, I became acutely aware of the spectrum of body weight and its impact on daily life.

I have seen people who, despite being classified as overweight, lead incredibly agile lives, moving gracefully through their day. Conversely, I have also witnessed the struggles of those whose bodies are burdened by excess weight, rendering them almost immobile and reliant on others for the simplest tasks. For many years, I found myself on the heavier side of that spectrum.

At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at over 155 kilograms. I carried my weight well; however, the truth is that even when we think we are managing our size, we can be silently battling a multitude of challenges beneath the surface.

I tried various weight loss programmes, medications, and exercise regimens – all in vain – before ultimately deciding to undergo gastric bypass surgery after a health scare. My experience is not unique, and perhaps this is why my heart aches when I consider the burden of obesity.

Recently, I faced the harsh reality of this struggle when I lost a family member. While I will not delve into the specifics of that sorrowful day, I will share that the logistics surrounding the burial revealed the sometimes insurmountable challenges posed by obesity.

AVBOB, one of the country’s oldest burial companies, informed us that they had never encountered such difficulties preparing for this farewell. The special coffin was 1.3 m in height and 1.2 m in length, requiring a TLB to be moved around. It struck me then that obesity is not just a personal battle; it can affect families and communities in profound ways.

Conversations about obesity are often approached with sensitivity in my immediate family, as we are generally overweight. There is awareness that these engagements can be deeply sensitive, laden with societal stigma and personal insecurities.

For many people, being overweight is not merely a reflection of lifestyle choices but can stem from a complex interplay of genetics, emotional trauma, socio-economic factors, and even psychological conditions.

However, last week brought a different perspective as we confronted the grim reality that our situation should not be taken lightly. Some of us did not participate in burial activities; we watched mourners like hawks, ensuring no one was taking pictures or videos. We simply did not want to trend!

This experience taught us that there is a significant price to pay for our obesity. We have now embarked on a journey of reflection, not only examining our lifestyle choices but also considering their socio-economic impacts. Yes, some are considering a gastric bypass, while those who are diabetic are investigating using Ozempic!

This family happening has prompted this week’s questions:

• How do you approach the topic of obesity with kindness and understanding?
• How do you tell a loved one, “I’m worried about you?”

It is such a sensitive matter. Beyond the physical challenges, many people face mental health issues linked to their weight, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.Food is comforting and seductive, and it is so easy for extra calories to cause weight creep. When I have spoken to people who have succeeded in losing weight and keeping it off without pills or a gastric bypass, it has been a lifestyle decision. It means a change in the grocery shopping list, a change to create time for walking, running, cycling, or swimming.

Importantly, another challenge is the possible increase in budget as fruit and vegetables are generally more expensive than delicious sugary carbs. Some exercise choices require us to sign up for a gym if it’s affordable. I know that when living with others, their buy-in to your lifestyle change intention makes a significant difference.

As someone who navigated these waters, I can attest to the overwhelming feelings of isolation and despair that can accompany obesity. It becomes vital for friends and family members to offer compassion and understanding, ensuring that struggling people feel supported rather than shamed and motivated.

But we owe those close to us a conversation about these weighty issues.

We need to name and discuss the consequences of a possibly foreshortened life, guardianship for minors, and so on.

The burden of obesity is heavy – not just for the people who carry that weight but for their families and friends as well.